I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
