he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
