Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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