he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
