Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
