I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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