PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
