I'm pants shitting drunk right now
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
