I wish you could order shots online.
We talked him into tasing himself.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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