i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
