You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Randomize
