McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
