Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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