You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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