Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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