I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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