Duck Duck Cougar?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
True strength comes from lack of pants
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
