i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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