um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
