I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
