Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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