I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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