I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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