Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
