A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
