Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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