you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
