Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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