I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Farmville is her only friend.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
