I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
how drunk are you?
Several
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
