Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I deserve this hangover.
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