We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
