We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
