One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Everyone says I win the strip club
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
