Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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