I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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