i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
