oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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