did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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