You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
