Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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