Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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