You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Actions speak louder than pants.
this will be a night to untag.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
