why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Randomize
