I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
