Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
