hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
