Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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