bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
