If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize