I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
