What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
