why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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