i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
