we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
