I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We have started to decorate penises.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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