Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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