she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
