I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
