I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Dignity is for republicans.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
