yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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