So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
