New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
