i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
