I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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