Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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