In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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